I did not have time to formulate a response, let alone an answer, before an image of a woman, and her son, who lives in my neighborhood filled my mind. The picture of the two of them gave me the answer long before I could formulate any words.
The son has both Autism and Tourettes Syndrome. His Autism can cause him to feel overwhelmed by the stimulus of the world or give birth to frustration which grows from his becoming fixated on something he cannot have. This makes it difficult for him to regulate his emotions. It can manifest itself in inappropriate outbursts, physically aggressive behavior, and loss of control. Throw in the effects of his Tourettes Syndrome which causes both physical tics (involuntary movements involving the entire body, such as kicking and stamping) and vocal tics (the involuntary use of obscene words or socially inappropriate words and phrases) and it gets even tougher.
When my neighbor discovered her son had these challenges, she began to learn all she could about how to help him. One of the things she was taught was when he was feeling overwhelmed by the stimulus of the world and found himself unable to control his responses he needed to be held and held tight. This deep pressure touch had a calming effect on him. Because of this, her response to his inability to regulate his emotions and to the verbal and physical behavior which would result was to embrace him.
There were many occasions in our neighborhood when he would be playing outside, something would push him to his limit and he would become overwhelmed. Him mom would come to him and embrace him, holding him tight. Upon initial contact he would struggle and fight against her, but she would hold firm. Often the Tourettes would kick in and an onslaught of inappropriate words and phrases would be unleashed at his mother. She knew in her head that it was the syndrome speaking, but knowing it could not always cushion the blow that the hurtful words would have on her heart. Yet, any wounding she may have felt did not keep her from continuing to hold on to him.
There in the yard they would stand, him writhing and yelling, trying to get away, and the mother holding him in love, trusting the deep pressure touch would eventually have its calming effect. That is the image which filled my mind and what I believe is the answer to the man’s question.
Not once did I ever think she looked foolish holding her boy. While she may have at times felt embarrassed by the display, for me watching it was always a gift. He may have been thrashing and flailing about, and spewing harsh and hateful words but it did not change her response. She simply held him. It was an embrace born out of love and it is tangible picture of God’s response to us.
There is something very powerful in recognizing God does not reject or turn away from us, even when we thrash and flail about or spew harsh and hateful words, but rather embraces us in love, even when we are our worst selves. I am thankful my neighbor and her son have helped me to see this.
The man’s question betrayed the fact he has a hard time envisioning God’s love like this. Maybe he wasn’t lucky enough to have a neighbor like mine. The truth is, many of us have a hard time believing this is how God love us. We may even fight against the notion when we first encounter it, but thankfully His love is not dependent upon our response. He is not concerned about how others might perceive it, or how foolish He may appear. Our attempts to push Him away do not deter him. His love embraces and holds tight.
There is much security in this. Maybe, like the boy across the street, we should allow this deep pressure touch to have its calming effect and let it to lead us to a place where our soul can find rest.
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