Loving Embrace

I was surprised by the man’s question.  It seemed to be born out of feelings of guilt and shame.  It was formed in a perception of God and his own failure that clouded the ability to see clearly. He asked, “Doesn’t a just God look foolish loving us unconditionally when we have messed up so much?”

I did not have time to formulate a response, let alone an answer, before an image of a woman, and her son, who lives in my neighborhood filled my mind.  The picture of the two of them gave me the answer long before I could formulate any words.

The son has both Autism and Tourettes Syndrome. His Autism can cause him to feel overwhelmed by the stimulus of the world or give birth to frustration which grows from his becoming fixated on something he cannot have.  This makes it difficult for him to regulate his emotions.  It can manifest itself in inappropriate outbursts, physically aggressive behavior, and loss of control.  Throw in the effects of his Tourettes Syndrome which causes both physical tics (involuntary movements involving the entire body, such as kicking and stamping) and vocal tics (the involuntary use of obscene words or socially inappropriate words and phrases) and it gets even tougher.

When my neighbor discovered her son had these challenges, she began to learn all she could about how to help him.  One of the things she was taught was when he was feeling overwhelmed by the stimulus of the world and found himself unable to control his responses he needed to be held and held tight.  This deep pressure touch had a calming effect on him.  Because of this, her response to his inability to regulate his emotions and to the verbal and physical behavior which would result was to embrace him.

There were many occasions in our neighborhood when he would be playing outside, something would push him to his limit and he would become overwhelmed.  Him mom would come to him and embrace him, holding him tight. Upon initial contact he would struggle and fight against her, but she would hold firm.  Often the Tourettes would kick in and an onslaught of inappropriate words and phrases would be unleashed at his mother.  She knew in her head that it was the syndrome speaking, but knowing it could not always cushion the blow that the hurtful words would have on her heart.  Yet, any wounding she may have felt did not keep her from continuing to hold on to him.

There in the yard they would stand, him writhing and yelling, trying to get away, and the mother holding him in love, trusting the deep pressure touch would eventually have its calming effect. That is the image which filled my mind and what I believe is the answer to the man’s question.

Not once did I ever think she looked foolish holding her boy.  While she may have at times felt embarrassed by the display, for me watching it was always a gift.  He may have been thrashing and flailing about, and spewing harsh and hateful words but it did not change her response. She simply held him.  It was an embrace born out of love and it is tangible picture of God’s response to us.  

There is something very powerful in recognizing God does not reject or turn away from us, even when we thrash and flail about or spew harsh and hateful words, but rather embraces us in love, even when we are our worst selves.  I am thankful my neighbor and her son have helped me to see this.

The man’s question betrayed the fact he has a hard time envisioning God’s love like this.  Maybe he wasn’t lucky enough to have a neighbor like mine. The truth is, many of us have a hard time believing this is how God love us.  We may even fight against the notion when we first encounter it, but thankfully His love is not dependent upon our response.  He is not concerned about how others might perceive it, or how foolish He may appear. Our attempts to push Him away do not deter him. His love embraces and holds tight.

There is much security in this.  Maybe, like the boy across the street, we should allow this deep pressure touch to have its calming effect and let it to lead us to a place where our soul can find rest.

Those Pesky Little Shoots

There is a tree on my street which is prolific at scattering seeds which sprout and take root in just about any soil which is available.  I find these tiny seedlings in flower pots, flower beds, cracks in the sidewalks, and just about any other nook or cranny where there is enough dirt and debris to allow the small amount of moisture necessary for the seed to sprout.  

Honestly, I have a love hate relationship with this tree.  Arguably, I live on one of the prettiest streets in Long Beach because the trees on both sides of the street are mature enough that their canopies stretch out over the asphalt and touch in the middle of the thoroughfare.  This makes a natural arch, the beauty of which can hold its own alongside some of the great cathedral ceilings of the world.  I am thankful for this.

On the other hand, one of the trees which make up this vaulted ceiling casts upon the wind hundreds, if not thousands of seeds each year, many of which I find growing in my yard. I find them in the front flower beds. I find them along side of the house. I find them in the flowerpots in the back yard.  I even find them in the alley.  They are not hard to spot.  I have become very familiar with their leaves and can recognize them immediately. 

When they are tiny, they are more of a nuisance than anything else.   They are not that hard to pluck out of the soil, especially if I do it as I am watering the plants.  However, if I allow them to get a bit bigger they hold their ground and a little more effort is needed to dislodge them. And if I do not see a seedling which has taken root for some time and it grows to a foot or more they can be downright difficult to remove.  It pays to catch them when they are small and there is a never ending battle to do so.

Several weeks ago I was walking from one building to another at a place where I do a little work.  Outside of one of the entrances was a large flower pot which had been outfitted with a trellis and planted with a climbing, flowering vine.  I had barely glanced at it when I notice the pot also contained one of the shoots I am constantly trying to eradicate from my yard.  The leaves were unmistakable.  My first thought was these trees are going to take over the world if we are not careful. My first reaction was to pull up this unwanted invader.

Unfortunately, this was not a new shoot.  It had been there for a while; so long in fact that it was hard to tell which plant had more rights to the space, the flowering vine or the tree.  Normally, when you find them there is one long shoot with a few leaves.  This one had grown large enough to have several shoots coming from the base and branches starting to form.  The fact it was so established made me all the more determined to remove it and restore the pot to its rightful owner.

I reached down, grabbing the base of the shoots firmly and gave a good tug.  When I did not only was I able to lift out the tree, but also the entire ball of soil, the flowering vine, and that trellis came with it.  This invasive specimen had weaved its roots so firmly into the soil and around the roots of the other plant that I was sure I would not be able to remove it without killing the other plant or dislodging the soil from the root ball and spilling it all over the deck.  The only choice I had was to allow the entire clump made up of the flowering vine, tree shoot, trellis and soil to settle back into the pot.  I must admit, I was a bit disappointed. Because of the tree on my street, I have become somewhat of an expert of removing this particular species of tree shoots and I hated to admit defeat.

Walking away I wondered how long it had been growing there.  I wondered how many people had walked by it before, without ever noticing it was there.  For those who saw it when it was small, I wondered if they had any idea of the impact it would one day have on the plant which was intentionally placed in this pot.  I wondered why I had not seen it before.

As I was pondering these things, I also began to think about how something very similar happens in our lives.  Some invasive thing is blown into the fertile soil of our hearts.  It could be a bad habit, a destructive lie, a distorted desire, or a particularly enticing sin and it takes root and begins to grow.

If we notice it when it is small, it is not too difficult to pluck out. If however, it grows a bit, it gets more stubborn and a little more effort is needed.  Allowing it to increase in height also allows it to increase in strength, making it much more difficult to remove.  By the time it produces multiple shoots and branches it is darn near impossible to remove without some kind of major intervention. What if rather than waiting for them to grow and take significant root in our souls we simply took the time to pluck them out when they were small.  How much hurt, pain and grief could be avoided?  How much easier would it be for the good vine to thrive?

I think the answer is a lot.

What if we simply took a few moments each day to prayerfully examine the soil of our hearts and asked God to help us identify and remove anything which has invaded the space where it is not intended to grow?  Imagine what it would be to discover these things when they are small and much easier to pluck out.  I think it would go a long way in preventing them from entangling their roots around our hearts and would save much consternation in trying to remove them after they have had an opportunity to firmly establish themselves.

It could be such a simple prayer.  "Lord help me to see those things which are taking root in my heart which do not bring life or which prevent me from growing into the freedom you have given me.  And Lord, help me to remove what I find."  It is simply a willingness to recognize what is attempting to take root and to ask for help in removing it.

Are you willing?