Oh the webs we can weave...

While on my walk the other morning I came across a single strand of spider web that was spanning the sidewalk between two trees.  It was quite a distance, maybe eight to ten feet.  I was lucky that the sun was still low in the sky and its light caught the spider’s silk at just the right angle to illuminate it.  This allowed me to avoid walking directly into it and at the same time it also gave birth to curiosity as to how such a tiny creature could hang a web as such great distances between objects.

I pondered this great feat for a few blocks, seeking to come up with my own theory of construction.  I knew somehow the spider got assistance in the construction of this tight rope of a web.  Did it climb to a high point on the tree and jump?  Did it attach one side of its thread to one side of the tree and then make the long journey down the trunk, across the path, and up the other side?  Did it hitch a ride on a host who unwittingly aided the spider in covering the distance? 

All these seemed implausible to me.  I did not believe that a spider could jump that far, or maintain the pristine condition of its web while dragging it down one tree and up another.  I knew it had some form of assistance, but did not believe it hitched a ride on a bird, squirrel or human.  After much consideration, I came to the conclusion whatever the answer was the wind hand to play a role.

When later I checked the internet I found out that I was on the right track.  A spider relies on the wind to carry the filament across great distances.  The spider will form the protein structure using its spinnerets.  It allows this to be drawn out by gravity and the breeze and it is allowed to blow in the prevailing wind until it attaches to another point.  This process is called kiting or ballooning, and through it a spider can span distances much greater than the ten feet my web was stretched.  Some species of spider are able to build these bridge threads, as they are known, across rivers.  This tread then becomes the anchor point for the web the spider will spin.

I couldn’t help but marvel at how great of a distance the spider is able to cover with very little effort.  How much toil and danger it has avoided by relying on the wind, rather than its own effort or the help of an unsuspecting host.  All this was possible because it was willing to release its thread and trust the wind to carry it where it needed to go.  In doing so, it also releases control to the breeze, relying on it to land its silk wire in the appropriate spot.

How much we could learn from the spider.  How often, when we find ourselves in the position of needing to cross a great span in life, do we find ourselves toiling to control the process or make it happen?  How unwilling we are to release control, trusting the Spirit to lead us to the right place, in the right time.

Because we are unwilling to trust in the process we expend much more energy than is necessary and find ourselves engaged in activities that do nothing more than tire us out.  This expended energy, often has as it byproduct of worry, anxiety, and stress.  While we are called to rest and trust, we find ourselves living in a state of exhaustion that is given birth in a deep suspicion that God will not come through.

I have a feeling the spider is not stressing out over the process.  In fact, if he spins out a bridge thread and it does not attach somewhere he may ingest the thread, recycling the proteins, and then spin out another thread, again asserting his trust in the fact the wind will carry it where it ought to go.

What would it be for us to live like this?  When we cannot see how the distance will be bridged, or when it seems like what we were counting on did not come through, what would it be to renew our trust in the power of the Spirit to move on our behalf rather than trying to manipulate the outcome in our own strength.  What would it be to reprocess our disappointments into another strand of trust which we offer up to the Spirit to do with as he sees fit?

I think the people around you would wonder what is going on in your head.  They might raise questions regarding the wisdom of your actions, and make comments which reveal how foolish they think you are.  

I think you would have your own doubts and fear that it might all lead to nothing.  What if you trusted and God did not come through? Where would you be then?

I do not know what it is like to be a spider, but I do know apart from the wind, there is no physical way an arachnid can span such great distances.  It is useless for it to toil in its own efforts.  In some sense, when it comes to spinning its web, apart from the wind it can do nothing.

It is the same with us, apart from the power of the Spirit, we can do nothing.  This reality is masked by our ability to busy ourselves trying to make things happen and control the circumstances of our life.  All this effort leads to nothing in the economy of the Kingdom of God.  It is useless to toil in our own effort.

Still, many of us are unwilling to stand still long enough to allow the Spirit to carry us to where we ought to be. 

How it must feel, as a spider, to have trusted the wind to carry your bridge line and to find that it is anchored securely in a place you never could have gone in your own strength.  How wonderful it must be to find that your trust has not been broken and your hope has not been in vain.  What must it be like to enter into this kind of rest, to lay down your toil, and yet find yourself doing more than is possible in your own strength?  In this place there is no anxiety, worry, or striving.  There is only the power of the wind and willingness.

Oh how I long to live this life.  My wife and I currently find ourselves in a place where we can exercise this capacity.  We will allow our bridge line to be drawn out by the circumstances of our life and caught by the prevailing wind of the Spirit.  We will trust that he will anchor it in just the right place, somewhere we could not in our own strength.  In the process, we will find our trust has been well placed, and our hope is indeed secure.  We will learn what it is in rest to do far more than we ever could in our own effort.

What other choice is there?  Just like the spider, this is how we were made to live.

Hitting the Target

Growing up shooting was always a part of my childhood. It probably began when we sneaked straws out of the cafeteria so that we could peg one another in the back of the head with spit wads during class.  We evolved from this primitive weapon when we cut a foot and a half off of our mothers brooms and with the help of a clothespin, grinder and some electrical tape fashioned for ourselves a homemade rubber band gun.  The range of this gun was limited and the accuracy was greatly affected by the wind, but it was all we had.

That is until our parents broke down and bought us our very own Red Rider B.B. Guns.  These gifts may have been the result of our mother's experience of sweeping with a short-handled broom and the fear that the rake might be our next victim.  What this advancement in fire power allowed was for us to go from simply getting off a shot, to being able to develop accuracy.  Yes, if it were not for the fact I wear glasses, in the process I would have actually shot my eye out.  This one unfortunate incident  aside, the air rifle allowed me to move from hitting the transformer on the electric pole behind our house, to soda pop cans across the yard, to being able to titch the eraser off of a number 2 pencil.

In high school I purchased my first 22 caliber rifle.  My best friend owned one just like it, along with a small arsenal of other hand guns, rifle and shotguns.  We spent countless afternoons on a dirt road just outside of town developing our ability to hit targets with each of these weapons.  We shot everything from paper targets, jugs filled with water, and old 45 records we used for skeet.  We would expend thousands of rounds perfecting our ability to hit was we were shooting at.  We disciplined ourselves to control our breathing, maintain the proper stance to steady our weapon and to squeeze the trigger in a gentle motion that would not move the gun.  We learned the differences of each sight and how we needed to line up our shot through it.  We learned the quirkiness of each gun.  If it shot down and to the left, we learn to adjust our shot accordingly.

At some point, during these afternoons of shooting, we would start to call our shots and compete against one another. We measured our success by how close we came to hitting our target. If we hit it we celebrated, and boasted about it.  If we missed it, we tried again, focusing more intently on what we were aiming at.

How silly would it have been if I had missed what I was aiming at and turned to my friend and tried to explain what was really important was how well I controlled my breathing, how perfect my stance was, or how smooth I pulled the trigger.  While everything we had practiced had an impact on the result, what really mattered was our ability to hit the target.  In reality, if you ever caught one of us talking about our form as worthy of praised, it was probably a sure sign that we were attempting to draw attention away from the fact that we had missed the target all together.

What was important in our shooting was our ability to hit what we were aiming at.

As I read the scriptures the target we are aiming at, as followers of Jesus, is love.  We measure our success by our ability to embody the love of God to everyone with whom we come in contact.  Galatians 5:6 goes so far as to say, the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself in love.  It does not matter how clever we are in developing strategy, the skills we have mastered to enable us to accomplish this plan, or how excellent we are in execution.  If the these do not result in our ability to hit the target of love, they are worthless and certainly not worth bragging about.

The target we are shooting at is well defined.  We know we are on target when our relationships are marked by patience and kindness. We know we have hit the mark when there is no hint of envy, boasting or pride.  An accurate shoot does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. When this target is stuck there is no delight in evil but there is much rejoicing with the truth. A well placed shot always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

Yet, when I look around I see so many followers of Jesus talking about strategy, mastery of skill, and excellence rather than focusing this well defined target.  Do not get me wrong, it is not that these are unimportant, but their value is only measured by their ability to help us hit the target. 

I cannot help but wonder if our preoccupation with these things is a sign that maybe, just maybe, we are attempting to draw attention away from the fact that we had missed our target all together.  We must be willing to ask the question,” Has all of our strategy, skill development and excellence grown our capacity to demonstrate love, or has it lead us to aim at another target all together?”  It is a whole lot easier to get excited about strategy, skill and excellence when there is little evidence what we have been engaged in has embodied love. 

Sometimes I wonder if in the absence of love if we do not look to these things to somehow validate the fact that what we have been involved in has some value.  According to the Apostle Paul they cannot.  In fact, he goes so far as to say without evidence of hitting the target these things and other capacities we might look to for value are worthless and gain us nothing.  “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:1-3.

What if instead of looking to these things, we focused on the target of demonstrating the love of God to those around us?  What if we were willing to admit how closely we came to hitting the mark?  Just like learning to shoot all those different guns, when we recognized how far off we were from hitting the mark, we utilized these things to help us adjust our sighting of the target so we might make a more accurate shot next time we pulled the trigger.  What if we did not find satisfaction in the skills necessary to re-sight the target, but only in taking the shot and discerning how much closer we have come to the bull’s-eye?  What if the only value that was important to us was how well we have been able to hit the mark of love?

How would this change the way we evaluate what takes place in our churches?  How would this season our interactions with people outside the their walls?  How would it change the expectations we have for our leaders, one another and ourselves?  What things which we now look to for value would fall to the wayside as we disciplined ourselves to solely focus on the target of love?

Nobody is forcing us to think about these things.,  In fact, often they are doing just the opposite, they are drawing our attention to something of far less value.  However, this does not mean they are unimportant.  God thinks about them.  Looking at the breath of Scripture it seems as if God is going to be far less concerned about our strategies, skills and even our excellence, and far more concerned about how accurately we have been at hitting our target. He is going to be looking at  how well we have loved and he will judge us accordingly.  I would suggest this fact might give us pause and cause us to think about them as well.

Take careful aim, the ability to hit your target matters.

Are Billboards Really the Answer?

Recently I was driving in Charlotte, NC and I came across a billboard that read, “Who is Jesus?”  Under this question was a toll free number you could call to find out.  I did not make the call because I know who Jesus is.  Instead, I pondered the questions that popped into my mind at that moment, “Would Jesus approve of this billboard?”  What do you think?

After pondering it for a few miles, I came to the conclusion that I do not think he would.  You may disagree with me, and I admit I may even be wrong, but let me tell you why I came to this conclusion.

When Jesus instructed those who followed him to go and make disciples he was not simply telling them to go and declare the truth about who he was.  He was calling them to go and teach them what it was to follow Jesus.  He wanted them to impart all that he had taught them to these people who would be compelled by the Spirit to also choose to follow Jesus.

How did Jesus make disciples?  He certainly declared the truth.  He could not help but do so.  He is the truth. Every word he spoke, every action he engaged in, and every relational moment he had with people was saturated with truth, because he was there.  What made the truth he declared so powerful what the fact that it was always connected to his being present with people and them having an actual experience of what it was to receive acceptance, love, grace, mercy and often times healing. 

This connection of the declaration of the truth with the experiential knowledge of the truth caused people to be willing to drop their nets, leave lucrative business, change their life style and abandon their sin in order to follow the one who not only declared the truth, but made it present. 

I don’t think a billboard does this.

If a billboard would have been the ticket for making followers of Jesus I think Jesus would have sent out the disciples, instructing them to go and carve monuments that tell his story. He would have told them to go and erect temples to his name.  He would have told them to go and write the truth in stone where everyone can see it.

Instead he commands them to go, and live a life that is modeled after his where everyone can see it.  His followers, in a sense, are Christ’s billboards which makes him known.  The Apostle Paul says as much in 2 Corinthians 2:14 when he declares, “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.”  I love that word manifests.  It means to make easily understood or recognized.  You, not some billboard, are designed to make manifest the knowledge of Jesus.

Even though you make know this is true, you might be thinking there is no reason to come down so hard on the poor, defenseless billboard. I disagree.  In fact, I wish I could take them all down.

Imagine for a moment that you have never experienced electricity, or the power of a light bulb to chase darkness away from a room.  What if I told you about the existence of electricity and the ability to access it with the simple throw of a switch?  Because you have never seen it, you might struggle to believe me.  What if I then even invited you over to a switch on a wall and explained that this little mechanical device release the power of electricity to illumine the light bulb, but because the breaker was thrown in the box, when I flipped the switch nothing happened.  What would this do to your ability to believe what I had been telling you about  electricity's ability to bring light to the dimly lit room? 

After awhile if all I did was tell you about the power of electricity, without any experience of it you would walk away not believing what I had shared.  In fact, I would have more than likely inoculated you to the truth, next time someone wanted to share with you the power of electricity; you might not even make the effort to walk over to the switch to see if it would work.  I may have done more harm than good.

How much more likely would it be for you to trust what I have been telling you if when I flipped the switch, the light came on?  It would almost be impossible to deny.

When Jesus sent out his disciples he tells them when they enter a town they are to heal the sick who are there and tell them, the kingdom of God has come near to you.  They are to demonstrate the power of the kingdom and declare the truth of the kingdom.  The declaration of the truth and the experiential knowledge of the truth go hand in hand.  What this does is invite people to respond to, rather than inoculate them from, the truth.

Living the kind of life that manifests Jesus to those around us is much more difficult than building a billboard.  It requires we choose to trust Christ and follow him.  It involves surrendering our lives to the Spirit of God who can transform us into the image of Jesus, and it necessitates we be willing to yield our will to the Father’s.  These are not easy to do.  They require a dying to self, and a willingness to abandon ourselves fully to God.  This can be scary, and I understand why it would be tempting to simply fork out some dough and put up a billboard. 

But that is not the life you were called to.  You were called to a life that manifests the Kingdom of God.  Jesus came and dwelt among us so that we might see his glory and experience the one who is full of grace and truth, and by seeing we might choose to follow.  Christ now dwells in you.  Through you, not some billboard, the world is to see his glory and experience the one who is full of grace and truth.  Hopefully they will choose to follow.  You are the switch that allows them to discover the power that chases away darkness.

This is a great privilege and calling and should not be ceded to a billboard

Pennies From Heaven....Really?

There is a stretch of sidewalk on my normal walking route where someone has glued a few coins to the concrete.  I have never met this person, but I know that they possess a bit of a sadistic sense of humor.  I just imagine them sitting in their house each day, looking out the window, watching and waiting for people to walk, bend down and attempt to pick up the coins.  I have a feeling it brings them joy to see it happen over and over again.

I also know this person is smart, because the first coin you come to is a penny.  It is almost not worth bending down to pick up, after all the only thing a penny is good for is giving it to the cashier when your bill ends in 91 cents so she gives you back a full dime rather than four more pennies and a nickel.  You used to be able to at least buy a gumball, but it has been years since I have seen a gumball machine that takes pennies.  If you know of the whereabouts of one let me know, I have a handful of pennies and I will treat you to a gumball or two, but I diverge.  Because the first coin you see is only a penny and not worth much by itself, you keep walking.

What this initial penny does, however, is make you aware of the possibility that there is more coinage to be discovered, and this is how I know the person is smart because in just two steps there it is, another coin. You see it because you are now looking.   It is either a nickel or a quarter.  I do not remember because all it takes to trigger the reflex to bend down and pick it up is the fact that it is bigger than a penny and it is sliver.  I am not ashamed to admit that upon seeing this silver coin I bent over to pick it up.  That is when I discovered that it was securely affixed to the sidewalk.  In an instant I knew I had fallen victim to someone’s prank, and became aware that that person was probably watching and laughing, hidden behind the curtain of the house in front of which all this takes place.

Now let several weeks, maybe even several months go by.  Fill those months with life changing circumstances that preoccupy much of your thoughts, and you might just find yourself walking down the same sidewalk, coming across the same penny, which like magic, opens your mind up to the possibility of more coins being strewn on the concrete, and bending over to pick up the large silver coin that comes next. 

If you felt slightly foolish the first time, the feeling is now fully realized as the thought of “I have done this before” quickly flashes across your mind.  You are sure that the person behind the window has some way of keeping score of how many people stop to pick up the money and you have just added another tally mark to the total, your second.

Fool me once, shame on me.  Fool me twice, shame on you.  Fool me three times…well I do not even want to go there.  At occurrence number two I decided to commit the moment to memory, to notice where the coins were in relationship to the surrounding houses, to remember that each coin has a bit of glue which oozed out and discolored the concrete around them so that in a couple of weeks, or months, when my mind is preoccupied with other thoughts and the penny presents itself I would remember want comes next.

I am happy to report that today, I came noticed that penny once again.  Rather than opening me up to the possibility of finding more coins, it triggered a memory of what the consequence would be if I allowed myself to go down that path.  I kept walking and saw the next coin, but instead of bending down to pick it up, I smile and imagined the person behind the curtain, poised to put one more tally mark on their board, having to sink back into their chair without the scarification of claiming one more victim, or in my particular case, the same victim for the third time.

I also could not help but think how similar this experience to other things that draw our attention, cause us to be tempted to seek out what has no capacity to satisfy, and which in the end leave us feeling foolish.

Instead of a penny to trigger our radar, these other experiences are triggered by loneliness, hurt, shame, guilt, and any other of a number of negative emotions we were never designed to experience.  Our reaction to this trigger is to begin looking for ways to deaden the pain, fill the void, and make ourselves feel anything other what was we are currently feeling.  We start looking for the shinny coin.

These coins come in all kinds of forms.  For some it is sex that is not safely held in the covenant commitment of marriage.  For others it could be any one of a number of substances that dull the pain and help you forget for a brief time.  I have seen others scan the landscape for coins that are shaped like success, power, money, and other coins that give the illusion that the person is in control.  Sometimes it could be a coin that fills the need to be needed, or fills your stomach so you feel full.

Like the currency of different countries, there are so many kinds of coins that I could not possibly describe them all, but they all have one thing in common.  They are someone’s sadistic trick to make us seek after something that was not intended to provide what its appearance promises.  I wonder if there is not someone sitting behind a curtain making tally marks every time we reach for one of these, laughing his head off because he knows that by drawing our attention to this coin he has removed our attention from the one who is able to fulfill all that has been promised.

With the prevalence of loneliness, hurt, shame, and guilt it is hard to imagine that we were never supposed to experience these things.  They were given birth when we turned from the one with whom we were designed to share unceasing relationship and fullness of life to seek after a coin that was glued down to the sidewalk, having no ability to provide what we had hoped it would.

In the process we have discovered disappointment, loss of relationship, and have settled for a life that is anything but full, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep seeking after the coins that brought us to this place of foolishness.  We remember the penny and where it leads.  We can choose to make a mental note of what triggers us to begin scanning the sidewalk for the shinny coin that cannot fulfill its promise.  We can ask the Holy Spirit to recognize it when it comes along, and remind us how unfulfilling it is and recall how foolish we feel when we find ourselves, one more time, turning to something that cannot deliver what we hope.

The Spirit of God can do so much more than that for us.  He can not only help us avoid falling into some sadistic trap, He can lead us to the one who was intended to be in constant relationship with us, pushing away our loneliness.  He can remove our guilt and shame, and can redeem and heal our hurts.  When our attention is locked on the power He has to do these things, we will not be looking down for coins on a sidewalk.  Our eyes will be high and lifted up, looking to the one who has the capacity to redeem and restore all things.  He is our treasure.

I just imagine the guy behind the curtain having to sink back in his chair without the satisfaction of making one more tally mark, claiming one more victim and I cannot help but smile.

It is Finished!

For the past couple of months I have been traveling around the country installing Internet Protocol Phone Systems in the warehouses of a major US company associated with the aftermarket auto industry.  There are some things I have learned along the way, some are somewhat humorous and some have a bit more meaning.  All are true. I thought I would share a few of them with you.  They are in no particular order and out of kindness I kept the list to only 30.

1.     When you travel with a suitcase filled with tools, wires and networking hardware you often get nice notes from the TSA in your luggage when you arrive at your destination.

2.  It is hard to make a TSA Agent smile, especially in the bigger cities, but I keep trying.

3.     After going to 17 warehouses you develop the ability to tell what the manager will be like in just a few moments by looking around the office.  They set the tone for everything and it is noticeable the moment you walk in.

4.     There is a direct correlation between the number of pinup posters on the wall and the number of requests you will get asking you to remove the porn blocker from a computer.  I tell them I do not have the ability to make the change they are requesting and then wait until later in the day when they finally ask me how long I have been doing this job.  I then weave in fact I have spent the last 21 years serving as a pastor.  The look on their face is priceless.

5.      People treat you differently when they find out you were a pastor.  In the South they still seem to have some respect for the position.  In other places they just do not know what to do with the information.

6.     When you are installing a phone system, suddenly the people in the office trace every technical issue they are experiencing to the new phones, even if the two things have absolutely nothing to do with one another. 

7.     When traveling, it is always best to treat everyone with graciousness and kindness, especially when things are not going like you expected.  People anticipate you will be grumpy in these situations and adjust their attitude accordingly.  Being unpredictably kind gives the person you are dealing with a picture of grace they may not see for the rest of the day.  This may put a smile on their face and quite possibly one on yours as well.

8.     You can try to talk with lots of people, only a few will join the conversation.

9.    When you meet new people and hear their story your realize that we all have been shaped by challenge and trial.

10.    Every Hampton Inn serves exactly the same breakfast, no matter what state you are in (With a slight variation of the kind of eggs served, depending on the day).

11.      Breakfast can get really old.

12.  If you are going to rent a car, join Hertz Gold Club.  It costs nothing and while others are waiting to get their paperwork you walk right to your car and drive off.

13.  If you drive off in the wrong car and do not bring it back for a couple of days they do not care because you are a Gold Club Member.

14.  A man must have designed the freeways in Connecticut.  They have places called service stops right on the side of the freeway.  You can pull in for the bathroom, gas, and a snack.  Because it is right on the freeway you don't have to call it a stop.  This is very important to men, who by nature do not like to stop.

15.  Judging by the number of books you see in planes and airports, travelers also seem to be readers.

16.  There are very few places where the airports and highways are as busy as in Southern California.

17.  Having lived in Southern California, and driven in Los Angles there is no traffic in the United States you cannot handle.  In fact, what most people think of a really bad traffic is a good day in LA.

18.  I would have never have thought graveyards and parks would be the places to visit when in another city, but in truth they often very interesting and beautiful places.

19.  People who work at graveyards are some of the friendliest people you will meet.  Maybe they are just happy to see someone who is living.

20.  Even two short hours gives you enough time to explore a corner of a city and discover something worth seeing.

21.  Some of the best things to see in any city are its people.  It is worth finding a place to sit and people watch.

22.  People on the coasts tend to be harsh; people in the center of the country tend to be courteous.  There are always exceptions, but in general this seems to be true.

23.  People seem to dress better on the East Coast.  I wish someone would have told me before I packed.

24.  People in Nashville are particularly friendly, and more likely than not, anyone you meet is probably trying to get into the music business.  When they asked me if I worked in the music business I just smiled.

25.  No matter how good the restaurant, eating by yourself is lonely.

26.  Seeing someone you know in a city far from home is a gift.

27.   95% if the restaurants from Diners, Dives, and Drive Inns are as good as advertised.

28.  Rhythms are important when traveling by yourself, especially when it come to prayer and reading scriptures, and practicing the presence of God.

29.  In times of transition, doing a job for a season which has nothing to with what you used to do is like taking a working sabbatical.  It provides the necessary separation to be able to detach your heart and begin looking toward the future.

30. Some things can never fully be detached from your heart.

Redeeming Loss

My great grandmother, on my father’s side, was named Adel Pleimann.  Except for some yellowed photos and 8 mm film taken when I was little, I really have no memory of her.  It does not mean, however, that I do not know something about who she was.

Four generations: My Great Grand Mother Adel, Grand Mother Virgina, Father and Me

When I listen to my father, my uncle Tony, or my Aunt Tina talk about her I get the picture that she was the glue that held the family together.  But before I get to that, let me tell you what little I know about her life.  

Uncle Tony, Aunt Tina, and Great Grandma Adel

She was married to John B. Pleimann, who was better known as “Jack the Diver.”  Back in a time when divers wore suits that weighed hundreds of pounds and the technology made using one a dangerous act, Jack would dive in the Mississippi River, working on the salvage and repair of the boats and barges that made the waterway a channel of commerce.  

 In 1941, at the age of 46, this dangerous job took his life.  

My great grandmother never remarried.  Instead she moved in with her daughter, Virginia.  When my Grandfather left my Grandma Virginia, Great Grandma Pleimann helped her to raise her two boys.  When Virginia got remarried to Tony and had two more children, Great Grandma, stayed with them and continued to support the family.

From everything I can gather, she did more than help out, she was the foundation upon which the family was built.  When my father and his siblings talk about her presence they tell how they felt completely loved by her.  Her love extended to the house and she helped to make it a home, bring order and stability to what could be at times a chaotic environment.  She was the rock which gave their home stability.  What a great legacy.

Grandma Adel and Aunt Tina

It is not surprising, when she died, the home was not nearly as stable and chaos crept in.   My Grandmother in her grief, like many before her, began to collect things in order to try and fill the void left by loss of her mother Adel.  While she might not classify in the strictest sense as a hoarder, there is no doubt that she was dealing with her grief with stuff, and that stuff filled the house.

When Grandma Virgina died in 2008, the task of helping her husband Tony clean out the house fell to my Aunt Tina (The title Aunt is a little misleading because she is only a year older than me).  Tina had grown up in the home and had seen her mother accumulate a lot of the stuff that now filled it.  She had also lived through the changes that took place after of Great Grandma’s death.  For her, I imagine this process was more than cleaning out rooms; it was also a journey back to her childhood and the memories that filled it.

When just a few years later, Grandpa Tony (Tina’s dad), passed away she was left to finish cleaning out the rest of the house.  Whatever was not dealt with when Grandma died was now processed.  This included both the possessions that remained and the memories that filled the house.  I am sure it was both hard and healing.

On a recent trip to Nashville I was able to have dinner with my Aunt Tina, a couple of days later I went to visit her home and place of business.  She lives on the main square of an old historic town just outside of Nashville.  Tina has an artistic flare which is evidenced by her home, which is beautiful.  It has just the right balance of art, warm colors, light and clean lines.  You would never know she grew up in the home of a woman who was a borderline hoarder.

Across the square is Tina’s shop.  She owns an antique store and consignment shop, but this is only part of her life’s work.  She also helps people liquidate estates when someone has died and the family desires to sell of what is left of their earthly possessions. While this is how she makes a living, Tina thinks of it as a ministry. As you can imagine, when Tina enters a home she encounters more than just a bunch of stuff, she is meeting a family in grief. She is there to help those she serves not only process the possessions that remain, but also the grief that they are feeling.  An opportunity I am not sure her mother ever had.

It struck me as I was standing in Tina’s store, looking at the objects that filled it, thinking about the families she has befriended in their time of loss, and looking at her, God has been so faithful in Tina’s life to redeem even hard things for great good.

I do not think when her mother was saving, collecting, and purchasing all the things that filled her home, Tina could have seen how living there and learning to understand her mom would help her to connect to the people she now serves.  I do not think that she could have seen how the process of going through the possessions left by her own parents would teach her what she would need to know to help families when they find themselves in a similar circumstance, and I am quite sure she never imagined the ministry that she would be given, which would grow out of her own family’s grief.

It was grief born when Jack the Diver died, it grew when my grandfather abandoned his family, and was fully matured when my Great Grandmother passed on.  These are only the big losses, there are probably a handful or two of others that I know nothing about.  Even thought these may amount to a big pile of losses, it is not big enough to be out of the realm of God’s ability to redeem them, and in the process having grief turn into joy.

That is exactly what I felt, joy, as I looked across the room at my Aunt Tina and realized how awesome our God is.

I do not know what loss you may be experiencing now, or what series of losses have piled up, one upon another, in your life, but I do know that the solution is not trying to fill the void that has been created with stuff, people, or even the hope that somehow it will all magically disappear.  The answer is in trusting the one who is capable of redeeming and restoring all things, and being willing to wait and see how He will turn these ashes into beauty.

I am confident one day you, like my Aunt Tina, will find yourself standing amidst the evidence of this redemption.

 “Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me;
 O Lord, be my helper.”

 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

 You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, 

 That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
 O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever. - Psalm 30:10-12

 “Then I will make up to you for the years 

 That the swarming locust has eaten" - Joel 2:25