My Pink Bracelet

I have recently taken to wearing a pink bracelet.  Though I have no problem rocking the pink, I do not wear it for the sake of fashion.  While we have just exited breast cancer awareness month and saw pink show up everywhere from National Football League to NASCAR, I do not wear it bring awareness to the fight against this disease, though I would love nothing more than to see it eradicated. I began wearing this bracelet to remind me to pray for a courageous girl named Liz.

Elizabeth is her full name and three years ago she began to experience medical issues which have tested her physically, mentally, emotionally, and spirituality. Without going into all that she has suffered, I will simply share  I have seen her walk with dignity through so much more than most of the adults I know could have endured.  At times, I have wondered how I would have fared if I had to walk the road she has traveled.  I am pretty sure I would have not been able to do it with as much grace and strength as this young lady has demonstrated.

Her mother has been gracious enough to invite us to bear witness to the journey this young lady is walking.  In the process we have seen times when Liz will muster what seems like supernatural strength to face the next battery of invasive tests. We have seen her demonstrate hopefulness in seasons where most of us might have been tempted to sink into despair. In the midst of her struggle, she has found ways to give to and bless others who also find themselves in a season of struggle. We have been able to watch Liz take great delight and exhibit genuine thankfulness in simple pleasures most of us take for granted.  We have gazed at images of  her face being covered with a surgical mask as she waits for the next procedure.  This mask cannot hide her beautiful smile which gives clue to the fact that the center of who she is does not rest in her present circumstance.

Do not get me wrong, she has hard days.  Liz after all is human, but in the midst of these hard days are the traces of the sacred in her life the bear witness to the fact there is something much bigger than her suffering going on here.  As I said, we have been invited to witness this journey, and I, along with many others, have been paying close attention to the way in which she and her family have been walking this path.  We are not bystanders who are watching from sidelines with curiosity, but a community of people who desire for this journey to end in healing, or at least in a diagnoses which can bring understanding, treatment and relief.  Liz has not yet arrived at the destination all our hearts have longed for. 

As a reminder to ourselves of the privilege we have to in someway to walk this journey with her and her family, and as an invitation for others to come witness the sacredness of what is taking place, we wear these pink bracelets.  There are words written on them.  Though they help us remember what Liz is going through, they do not say “Remember Liz”.  Though they help us to pray for Liz, they do not say “Pray for Liz”.  What they say is “Live Like Liz”.

While I only received my bracelet a short time ago, I have been amazed at how it has done so much more than remind me to pray for Liz.  Just the other day I was dealing with my own pain, which in no way compares with what Liz has been facing, but is real none the less.  In the middle of this I caught a glimpse of the pink band around my wrist. I read the words.  I was reminded of how she faces this struggle and I was inspired by this young girl’s example. In the process, something in my heart grew in its capacity to face my own path.  There was something very redemptive about this.  It was a gift to me, born of watching her endure this trial with such strength.

I say it is a gift, but I want you to understand, I do not think what Liz is going through is a gift.  This weekend I heard a pastor say, “I believe there are things which happen to us which are not God’s will.”  I agree with him. I do not believe it is God’s will for a young girl to suffer what Liz has suffered, or for her parents and family to have to endure walking this path with her.  It is hard for us, with our finite minds, to wrap our brains around the fact God in His sovereignty can allow something to happen to us which is in fact not in His will for us.  We see this every time we turn from Him, every time we chose sin, every time we settle for less than the life He longs for us to embrace, and I think we see it very clearly in the suffering of a young girl who is enduring more than God would have ever willed for her to experience.

This reality does not mean Grace cannot be found here.  As hard and tiring as this journey has been for her and her parents, in the moments when rest comes I know they would tell you of their experience of God’s grace and mercy in the midst of this trial. Part of the way this grace is shown is in the ability He has to take what was meant for evil and bring good out of it.  It is a great good when others, like me, can contemplate the manner in which a young girl faces the pain and suffering she is forced to endure and we find in her an example of what is necessary to reshape our own hearts response to affliction.

If I could chose, I would rather she never had suffered.  I would prefer to not have the capacity to learn from her.  I wish she had nothing to teach me because she did not have to walk this path.  Given these wishes are not based in the truth she experiences, I am grateful for the reality this suffering is being redeemed. 

The fact God is able to bring redemption in the midst of suffering does not change the desire I have for the healing to take place and the suffering to end.  It also does not change my belief God laments with us over what Liz and her family has to endure or the fact that my heart breaks every time I hear of a setback.   It does, however, give me the hope none of this will be in vain.  Great good is being born out of what I can only count as the most sinister evil.  Redemption is already at work, even if we have yet to see it manifest its fullness in healing. 

Oh how my heart longs for that day.

I hope at the end of all this when she is well, maybe when she has grown into a woman, I can sit down with her and try to explain how inspirational she has been to me.  I want to be able to explain to her how God used her life to shape mine and how much good came out of the terrible suffering she had to endure.  Maybe then, we can sit together and hold the mystery of how our God can take what He never willed and redeem it.  We can marvel with one another at His ability to birth life out what was meant for destruction, and we can rejoice in the fact this season is in the past.

The promise of these things brings me hope.  It is what I cry out to God for.  It is why I wear a pink bracelet.  I am being changed by what it represents, the life of this incredible young girl. There is truth in the words I wear on my wrist.  I want to live like Liz.