@#$%^&*!

The English alphabet, which is actually the Latin alphabet, has 26 letters. By themselves the letters really do not have much meaning. Well, that is of course if you do not count the one letter words of A and I, or you discount the letters that sound like words like B, C, J, O, P, Q, R, T, U and Y.  However, if you combine a few of these 26 letters, in one of what seems like an endless combination of letters, you can form a word that carries with it a tremendous amount of meaning.  This is great power.

The power that these conglomerations of letter possess is the power to teach, inform, define, persuade, encourage, and impart life.  Groupings like these are wonderful words.  Unfortunately, these letters can also be formed into words that confuse, label, divide, hurt, attack and destroy.  These are nasty words.

Of all the nasty words I know, and I have heard a few in my day, I think two of the nastiest are, they and them.  These four letter words are expressions of exclusion.  They imply that in contrast to they and them there is a we and an us.  

Now we and us can be a very powerful expression of inclusion.  They can communicate you belong.  You are part of us.  You are of our people.  When, however, they are used in combination with the words they and them suddenly they become words that separate.  The implication is that somehow, they are different, they do not belong, they are not one of us. 

I cannot think of anything nastier to communicate to someone than this.  In fact, if you think about it, nearly all other nasty words you know in varying degrees and intensities communicate this very same message.  Sure, some other nasty words seem to be talking about the color of someone’s skin, their economic status, the quality of the family they come from, or they attack the character and identity of the person at whom they are aimed, but in reality, they really are simply saying you are not like me.  You are less valuable.  You do not fit. 

This is nasty stuff.

Surely, you have known people that talk about others like this.  The kind of People who are always using we and us with they and them, even if they are using very different words.  Sometimes I get very angry with people who use such terms, but mostly I just feel sad for these people.  The place in their heart where such words are formed is a place that is filled with doubt and fear that they do not belong, matter, or have value.  The use of such words on others is really a cover for their own insecurity.  If we were honest with ourselves, to one degree or another, is the same insecurity true about nearly every one of our hearts.

The only people I have seen who have escaped this reality are the ones who have risked being open about their fear and doubt of not belonging.  In the process they have also opened themselves up to the possibility of receiving love and acceptance from others.  When this happens it is powerful and life-changing.

Since all of us, at some level, have the same fear and doubt rooted in our hearts, and all of us are tempted to form words that carve out a place of belonging by keeping others out I wonder what would happen if we resisted the temptation.  What if we threw away the words they and them, and spoke to everyone with we and us?  How could even one person, making such a choice, affect the people that they come in contact with on a daily basis?

Imagine how surprised people would be, who are ready to receive rejection, when they are offered love, acceptance and inclusion.  How might this change their perspective, but more importantly their hearts?  How would it affect how they related and responded to others?  Might it cause them to be willing to remove such words as they and them from their vocabulary and replace them with we and us.

What affect would this then have on the people that they touch?

I think it would be a game changer, It is the kind of move that would make all the difference in the world.   Imagine what it would be to hear; you, who fear being rejected, are accepted.  You, who are not included, will be grafted into the community.  You, who feel like foreigners and aliens, can become citizens.  You, who see yourselves as enemies, can now become friends. You, who question whether you are esteemed, can discover how deeply and completely you are loved.

Could there be any more powerful message for all of us who have deep within our hearts the fear that we do not belong and are not loved.  Could there be any greater reality we could have the privilege of communicating to another, than the truth that these fear are totally and completely unfounded. 

It seems to me, the power of this message makes removing the words they and them from our vocabulary a no brainier.