Tammie began preparing our meal the day before by slicing
bread and making an egg mixture that would be poured over the French bread and
baked in the oven. I do not know the
name of the dish. It was kind of a
French toast casserole and it was delicious.
It tasted like the bread had been soaked in custard, not eggs. It had praline on top and a
golden brown crust that was as beautiful as it was delectable.
When the table was set, the orange juice was poured into
wine glasses, and the bacon crisped just right we sat down for what would be
the last meal the three of us will share at the table before Kristen moves out
and fully embraces dorm living. It is
not the last meal we will ever share at this table, but it is the last one we
will have together before this significant transition in life takes place. When I return from this trip she will be
gone.
How quickly we have gotten to this point in life. Where did all the years go. Tammie is fond of saying the days are long
and the years are short. This morning
reminds me of just how true this statement is.
Our table is a significant place in our home. We have shared many special meals around
it. Of course there are the holidays,
birthdays, and first and last days of many of life’s seasons.
Some of our favorite meals took place on Valentine’s Day. When the children were very young Tammie and I decided rather than leave them with a babysitter while we went out to commemorate our love, we would celebrate together as a whole family. We would set the table with our finest china, pour sparklingly apple cider into wine glasses, and serve up the first hamburger of the barbeque season (We live in Southern California so the B.B.Q season comes early). We would toast one another, share what we appreciate about each other and celebrate the love we have has a family.
Some of our favorite meals took place on Valentine’s Day. When the children were very young Tammie and I decided rather than leave them with a babysitter while we went out to commemorate our love, we would celebrate together as a whole family. We would set the table with our finest china, pour sparklingly apple cider into wine glasses, and serve up the first hamburger of the barbeque season (We live in Southern California so the B.B.Q season comes early). We would toast one another, share what we appreciate about each other and celebrate the love we have has a family.
When Kristen was young and it came time for her to share
with her mother what she like best about her she would say, “I like that you
take me to Disneyland.” This is a nice sentiment,
but not the impression or impact my wife had dreamed of making on our
daughter. After the meal I would
encourage Tammie by telling her, “Just wait, one day this little girl will grow
up into a woman and she will look back on all that you have done for her and
she will be grateful for all of it.”
This morning, as I sat across the table from my daughter I
saw that women. Do not get me wrong, she
still loves going to Disneyland. In
fact, she is going there tomorrow with a friend before that friend leaves for
college. Yet, Disneyland is not the only
things she appreciates any more.
I have noticed over the past year how often she will say
thank you for the little things you do for her.
I have seen how she seeks her mother out for guidance, comfort, and to
simply share the joy of life. I have watched her walk through hard things and
come out the other side in a better place.
I have noticed in her the awakening of the possibility of what she has
been created to be and do. I have also
noticed that there is still a little girl inside of her that is moving forward
bravely into this new stage of life, but who also wants to cling to the
relationships built around this table and the safety of our home.
As I look at her I am filled with love and pride. I am excited for what comes next and I want
to keep her from moving out all in the same moment.
After brunch we retired to the living room where we all took
a spot on our sectional. Kristen sat next to me and allowed me to comb my fingers through her
hair. When she was two years-old she was
afraid of me and would not come near me.
How glad I am in this moment it was only a phase. We talked about what the rest of the week
would look like, when she would move in and when I would be home. We discussed
her transition into college and Tammie and I shared what wisdom we could. Mostly, however, we shared these last moments
before everything changes.
I would not keep her home for anything. I am excited for the next phase of her life
and how God will use it to continue to mold and shape her. I truly believe she will blossom in
college. For her the best is yet to
come. I would be lying, however, if I
did not admit I am going to miss what has been our life for the past 18 years. This was a moment to reflect, savior, and
hope. It was also a moment to hold on,
just for a few minutes more to what has been such a precious time of life.
We often think of Holy moments coming in a worship service,
deep spiritual conversation, or a moment in which the only explanation for what
just took place is that God showed up.
Holy moments can also come in sitting down to brunch, drinking orange juice out of wine glasses, and
sitting on the couch saving these last moments of childhood with a daughter you
love so much. These moments are glorious.
If this father can feel like this, I wonder if it is not the
same for our Heavenly Father. We are
always looking for the big Holy moment.
We are always waiting for God to show up and display His glory in a
powerful way. Maybe, just maybe, it is
when we are still long enough to be present with Him that we can become aware of
His Glory which is already here. We have
already been living in it. All we needed
to do was take a little time to recognize it and savor it.
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